Ferris Bueller’s 25th Anniversary

06/11/2011 by Leave a Comment

Ah, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Quite possibly the greatest piece of cinema ever made.

And I mean that. It’s without any doubt my favorite film. And today is the 25th anniversary of it being released into theaters. Awesome, right? Definitely going to watch it later.

One thing I was always shocked over was the lack of sequel. And at this point, I’m pretty glad that never happened. The movie is fine. Leave it alone. And definitely never remake it.

Hollywood has a horrible track record for making shitty remakes of films. The thing is, if this film ever were remade, it couldn’t live up to the original, as so many others have failed. In fact, it’s be so horrible, I bet it would go something like this:

Directed by
Fight Scene Choreography
Ferris Bueller
Cameron Frye
Sloane Peterson
Ed Rooney
Jeannie Bueller
Katie Bueller
Tom Bueller
Grace, The Secretary
Boy in Police Station
Economics Teacher
Florence Sparrow
Garage Attendant
Attendant’s Co-Pilot 		…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
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… 		Michael Bay
Wo Ping Yuen
Mike Myers
Kenan Thompson
Kirstin Dunst
Alan Rickman
Thora Birch
Estelle Harris
Ed O’Neill
Christina Applegate
Justin Bieber
Shaq
Wanda Sykes
Christopher Meloni
Gary Sinese

The plot will remain similar. Ferris skips school by faking his parents, though this time with some added weird, inappropriate impressions of movies Mike Myers has done before. He hits the town (this time changed from Chicago to the O.C…. I mean, it’s only appropriate anymore) and narrowly makes it back home without being caught. His friend Cameron may just learn something before they’re through.

This update will feature some new, awesome CGI as added as Micheal Bay feels appropriate. Also, Wo Ping yuen will choreograph some bitchin’ fight scenes. There’s also a marketable soundtrack:

  1. Prelude – Nobuo Uematsu
  2. She’s a Queen – Queen Latifah
  3. Adam Sandler – Channakuh Song
  4. Time Warp – Cast
  5. I’m Dorothy the Dinosaur – Wiggles
  6. cop killer – Ice T
  7. Friday – Rebecca Black
  8. Fish Heads – Barnes & Barnes
  9. Working For Vacation – Cibo Matto
  10. Friend or Foe – T.A.T.U.
  11. Friday (repise) – Rebecca Black
  12. 99 Red Balloons (*This will replace the Danke Schoen scene)
  13. Pray – Nobuo Uematsu

Okay, there. That should be enough to get anybody who likes good movies nice and riled up. Now line up and purchase your tickets!

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